


Build It Up, Tear It Down

by systems



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Physical Therapy, Post-Canon, Surgery (discussion of), slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 14:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8893933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/systems/pseuds/systems
Summary: Sousuke moved to Australia with Rin to attend college and get therapy for his shoulder. Things get tough when Sousuke's physical therapist points out that he isn't making much progress.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Iridium (IridiumFlames)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IridiumFlames/gifts).



> Thank you very much to @Iridium for the prompt, and @ricesolidarity for the beta!

Logically speaking, Sousuke had always known that things would change, that he couldn't stay in this comfortable halfway space. He knew that recovery was supposed to be a process, and that he was working toward a goal. But he surprised himself when he realized how much he'd come to enjoy the rhythm of it. He had his classes mostly in the morning, physical therapy sessions in the afternoons, homework in the evenings. Weekends were spent with Rin as much as his training schedule would allow. He'd come to Australia knowing that it'd be hard, but hoping working alongside Rin would ease the struggle. And it did. 

But somehow, Sousuke's plans never seem to quite work out. He had surgery, he started physical therapy, and he wanted that to be enough. 

It wasn't. 

 

"Okay, Sousuke. Let's try the doorway presses next," his physical therapist said. She led the way to one of the empty offices and opened the door. Sousuke, used to this exercise by now, braced his hands and leaned into the office, stretching his shoulders back. The therapist started to count. At twenty, she told him to rest. 

"Now, compared to when we started, how much pain are you in?"

"Four, maybe," Sousuke answered. He hated the pain scale; it had taken a while to establish what a true "0" was. It was a discouraging realization that he was living his life with a constant undercurrent of pain. 

"You said you had no pain when you got here," the therapist noted. "If you're already at a four, we should stop. Come back to my office and we'll go over your at-home routines."

He followed her down the hall silently. Hers was the office at the end of the corridor. It always felt vaguely like being escorted to the principal's office when they walked down there for a chat. 

"Sousuke, are you taking rest days?"

"Yes."

"Every week?"

"Uh...most weeks." 

She made a soft noise of disapproval and took a note in her binder. "Sousuke, how much are you swimming?"

Sousuke hesitated. "I go to the pool after work to pick up Rin," he said. That was true. 

The therapist raised an eyebrow. "And how long are you in the pool with him?" 

"I don't always swim with him. I think we stay for twenty minutes if I do stay. But Mondays there are classes and Tuesday Rin's practice goes late and Friday we go out for dinner so Rin's always ready to go when I get there." 

"I'm concerned that you seem to have plateaued again. I would like to see you in a week."

Sousuke nodded. 

"I'd also like to consult with your physician. You've been seeing Dr. Torgeson, correct? Call my office after you make the appointment. I'll speak to Dr. Torgeson after you meet." 

 

Rin insisted on driving Sousuke to his appointment. He agreed to wait outside, and when Sousuke was called back, Rin was chatting animatedly with a young girl with a brightly colored cast on her arm. 

Dr. Torgeson was a sprightly lady in her late sixties, with gray and white hair and small, steady hands. She was very cheerful and one of the most blunt people Sousuke had ever spoken with. He'd liked her from the moment she told him that there would be "no bullshit in this office, from either of them.” 

"We can try another surgery, but this shoulder will always be weaker than the other, despite it being your dominant side."

"What kind of surgery? Is it the same as last time?" Sousuke asked. 

"No," Dr. Torgeson said. "It's a procedure called an open repair." She explained more about the surgery, how they would make a bigger incision that would take longer to heal, how they would detach the muscle from the bone to make a cleaner repair. 

Sousuke cringed at the description. It was revolting. "How long is the recovery time?"

"We would be looking at a twelve month rehabilitation period. Even with excellent results, your shoulder will never be the same as it was prior to your injury." The doctor gave him an appraising look, as if trying to see what Sousuke wasn't asking her. "Sousuke, you can't swim the way you used to." 

He nodded. "I didn't think so."

"It's partially the motion," she said. "If you had something where you didn't stretch the rotator cuff so much, that'd be different. Unfortunately, the way you use your arms to propel yourself forward in the water is hard on your shoulders."

"Thank you, Doctor." 

"You're not done healing," she said. "Continue with the therapy." 

"I will." 

 

Rin jumped up when Sousuke returned to the waiting area. Sousuke managed to put off talking about the appointment until they got home to their small apartment. 

"Well?" 

"The appointment didn't go well," Sousuke said. 

"Clearly. You didn't say anything the whole way back," Rin said. "What did she say?"

"They could try to open - no, it was called an open repair. Basically they'd undo everything and start over." 

"They have to go that far?"

"Yes, Rin, they have to go that far!" Sousuke snapped. "If I want to swim with you, they have to completely destroy my shoulder again." 

Rin looked stricken. "I'm sorry, I-" 

"I need to go for a walk, Rin." 

"Sousuke-"

"No." 

He slammed the door. It wasn't very mature, but it made him feel better. 

He didn't want to go through it all again. He knew the surgery would hurt. He knew it'd be months before they'd know if it had even been worthwhile or just a gigantic waste of time, money, and pain. 

Maybe it was time to do something else with his life. 

 

Of course, by the time he got back, Rin was in full Fix It mode. 

"Okay, we can make this work. I'll arrange for the time off. I did well at the meets last month, Coach will be okay with me staying here."

"I'm not having the surgery, Rin." 

"What? You can't give up." 

"I can stop this. I don't know why this is such a big deal to you." That was a lie. Swimming had always meant everything to Rin, in a way that never fully clicked for Sousuke. He loved it, but Rin lived for it. "It sucks, Rin. I made mistakes and I'm paying for them. But I've let years of my life revolve around my shoulder. I don't want to do that anymore." 

"You were supposed to swim with me!" Rin shouted. "That was the deal! You were going to move in with me, get therapy here in Australia, and swim with me!" 

"And if I can't?" Sousuke asked. "If I can't, are you going to break up with me?" The other shoe seemed ready to drop; one crushing blow to his shoulder, the next to his heart. 

"What? Fuck. No, god no, Sousuke." Rin scrubbed a hand over his face. "It's just - we said you'd move to Australia because you could get therapy here. If you stop, what else will you do?"

"I don't think I'll stop going to therapy yet, Rin. I just won't be trying to swim at your level."

"But then I made you move all the way here for nothing," Rin said, voice breaking. 

Oh. 

Sousuke had to pause to gather his thoughts. He reached out to Rin, resting his hand on his arm to keep him from walking away or sinking further into self-doubt. The last thing he wanted for Rin to take away from this was the idea that Sousuke would've been better off staying in Japan. It'd been a rocky year for sure, but that didn't mean Sousuke wanted to change any of it. 

"You didn't make me move," he said finally. "You made the offer, but you didn't force me to accept it. I always knew I might not get better, remember? And I didn't move here for my shoulder. I moved here for you. And for myself. Rin, we've done such cool stuff here. We've gone swimming with fucking sharks. We've driven down the longest straight road in the world and discovered that it's just as boring as it sounds. So what if my shoulder is fucked? I still get to do cool shit with you." 

Rin sniffed. "I guess." 

"You guess," Sousuke repeated. His boyfriend sounded so unconvinced. It kind of hurt. "Rin, I could've just as easily gotten surgeries and therapy in Japan. More easily. I came here for the chance to do stupid shit with you."

Rin snorted. "Now it's stupid shit. A minute ago it was cool shit." 

Sousuke smiled. "It can be both. It usually is, with you."

Rin scowled. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we do stuff together that I'd never do on my own. Some of it is stupid and risky, and some of it is just - not boring, but not something I'd do if you weren't dragging me into it."

"Gee, I sound great."

"You are. Even the lame shit is great because I'm with you. We can laugh at the stupid shit, share the thrills of the risks - Rin, moving here was the best thing I could've done. And I'm not going to let this thing that was never a sure thing to begin with come between us. So, I don't swim that much. I can still kick your ass at basketball."

"How are you so calm?"

"I've seen this coming for a long time," Sousuke smiled faintly. "Rin. Swimmers have short careers. I knew I didn't have a lot of time to catch up to you."

"I can't believe you're giving up," Rin said sadly. 

"It's not about giving up. It's more like...not waiting."

Rin bit his lip. "I always thought about it the other way around, you know? Like you were putting your life on hold to move here with me." 

Sousuke shook his head. "Moving here was moving forward. Staying in Japan for my shoulder would've been standing still." 

"How is that different?"

"Rin, I moved here to be with you. If I had stayed in Japan I would've been waiting for you." 

Rin smiled faintly, as if it was starting to make sense. 

"We'll be good."

"No," Rin said. "We'll be great."

'That's my Rin,' Sousuke thought fondly. He said, "You're a sap." 

"Hey!"

Sousuke grinned. "Now it's our day off. Am I kicking your ass at Smash Bros or Mario Kart?" 

"Excuse you," Rin said. "If we're playing video games we're going to that new arcade downtown, and I'll be kicking your ass." He started ushering Sousuke toward the door, knocking him in the legs with a knee when he didn't move fast enough. "I heard they have two-player pinball."

"How does that even work?" Sousuke wondered. 

"No idea," Rin said. "But I'll still win."

"Bullshit," Sousuke said. "You're on."


End file.
